Matt Damon

Damon: (whirling around) F** you and your f**ing candy. (grabs candy, randomly throws it) That Oscar's mine, you f*** p***! I said I'd f***ing take it and I'm taking it! Any of you motherf**ing a**holes has a problem with that, you tell me to my f***ing face.


Sitting in the chair to Damon's left, Casey Afleck mumbles something.

Damon: Man, I have no idea what you should just said.

Marlee Maitlin supplies her input from the chair to Damon's right.

Matlin: (speaking and signing) He says you can take the Oscar and shove it up ...

Damon: My ass. That's wicked funny, Casey.

Casey: (mumbles something) 

Tray Parker: (OS -- mentally challenged voice) Matt Damon.

Damon: Not funny, Parker. Wasn't the first time.

Tray Parker: (OS) Matt Damon.

Damon: Parker. I swear to f*** Christ you say that one more time I'll f*** kill you.

Tray Parker: (OS ) Matt Damon.

Damon: Motherf***!

He leaps over chair.

Pathetic apology

Sorry about the FBI warning label, but I have to put it in. It's legally stipulated under Article 29 and the force majeur doctrine, though we all know saying it's "legal" won't save our collective ass if this goes sideways. Obviously, don't discuss this hot mess outside the need-to-know cell-structure. Don't tell your husband, wife, kids, friends, dog, or talk to yourself in the mirror. Playing dumb is the smart thing to do. And being smart is probably dumb. Something tells me Hamlet had a file on Claudius just like this. We all know what happened to him. I think we all know what we have to do, but analysis is so much easier. I know I'm being kinda wordy, but I hate the drive home at night. A mere 17 miles from Langleuy to Silver Springs, but I never think I'll get there. OK, I'll shut up now. Just read this shit.

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